Friends...

Friends....where do I begin?

There are so many kinds of friends. Some are for a season, some are your everyday ones, some are friends for a specific reason.

Tonight, I had to say goodbye to a friend that is going to the Phillipines for 18 months. That friend is one of the 3 most Godliest women I know. I have known her for about 12 years. She was the bible study leader when I first started ladies bible study, right after getting married. She has been there for me with some of the hardest times of my life! Without going into too much detail, she helped me come out of the deepest, darkest depression I have ever known. Even though I'm not as close now as I was to her, how do you say goodbye to someone that helped you so much. God definitely used her to speak to me and I will never be able to thank God and her enough.

I totally fell apart tonight at the dinner. I was able to shed tears gracefully, dabbing my eyes with my used napkin because I didn't bring in any tissues. That was until the end and then I felt like my face was going to explode because I wanted to bawl like a baby. Then I was embarrassed because I couldn't get it together. But it was because I love her. And I love HARD! I know tomorrow will be better and there is email and they are planning on coming back, but when you give another person a piece of yourself in friendships, it just plain hurts when they leave.

Back to friendships... I am at a place right now where I am examining many things about myself, my character and my side of friendships. I need to stop trying to be what I THINK everyone needs me to be and start being who GOD created me to be. I think facebook does not help with that either. I am constantly asking myself..."do I need to do something for this person", "should I have that person over", "do I need to comment so that this person feels better" and so on and so forth. It is driving me crazy!

Anyway, facebook is another story for another day. I think it can be fun, but can also be a dangerous distraction.

One of my "resolutions" was to do better in the friends area. I am praying that God will show me exactly how He wants me to do that.

If you're still reading, thanks for letting me get all these thoughts out of my head!